I really expected something else from adulthood. I thought it was like waking up every two hours the day before graduation knowing it was going to hit me once the alarm went off. I did expect it fearfully, but one day I woke up and found out I had been adulting for a while.
The day before my graduation on December 9 The Sounds came to El Paso. This was one of the first “indie” bands that I heard and through them was introduced to the music I listen to today. 12 year old me could had only dream of seeing The Sounds live, even less imagine that one day I would have been at their “Dying to Say This To You” Celebration Tour. Ten years since that album came out and moved me forward from the emo-punk stuff I liked when I was in middle school, skinny jeans, and checkered vans. Maybe not the skinny jeans–and the vans. Even more years have passed since I saw that video of baby doll face Maja Ivarsson singing “Living in America”.
12 year old me had a vision of the future adult she wanted to be. She wanted me to be the kind of adult that spends her money going to concerts without having to be accompanied by her mother to the venues. Wearing all black and leather jackets and walking into clubs the same way Maja did in “Tony the Beat” video. 12 year old me started to love music so much that she even envisioned herself being involved in the scene–somehow through friends, a boyfriend, a job? I imagined myself as a successful adult with a successful smokey eye. 12 year old me was optimistic of the future, so here’s a list of things adult me has done that would make 12 year old me proud, but also the cons of these achievements.
1.Went to see The Sounds live.
Went to see them the day before my college graduation. I had to get home early ’cause the next day I had to be at check in at 7:00 AM. I only slept five hours. I was even considering not going because I was tired. 12 year old me didn’t considered that adult me actually would have a job.
2. Actually go to a lot of concerts.
Too much concerts to be honest. My bank account is always on the two digits. Yet they’re never enough concerts. I need to see more shows.
3. I know some musicians.
They’re pretty normal people. Some of them are great people, some of them are dicks. Some of them are my friends and I don’t have the heart to tell them I don’t like their music. I won’t say names.
4. Wear leather jackets and all black.
Leather jackets are very expensive, so I have the fake leather ones. They’re not even appropriate for the weather of El Paso; it’s either too hot or too cold. Wearing all black is not as badass as 12 year old me wanted to believe. None of my black items match. I hate un-matching blacks. I hate doing laundry. Adult me has to do laundry. Adult me wears the same bra three days in a row so I won’t run out clothes because I can only do laundry 2-3 times a month. Adult me never has enough white clothes to fill a washing cycle since adult me buys way too many black clothes. Adult me calls her mom to ask if I can machine dry a wool sweater.
5. Walk into bars by myself.
It took me like five years of practice, and I don’t even look like Maja Ivarsson. That’s the only contra. I actually hate when people are unable to walk into a bar/place by themselves; as if they were poor baby deers stepping into the freeway and being blinded by a car’s headlights.
6. Master makeup.
12 year old me doesn’t know that eyebrows have become very important and thinks that adult me only owns black eyeshadow, a red lipstick, and eyeliner. Girl… I don’t know if Sephora was a thing in 2006, but start saving.
7. First festival: Warped Tour
Only once. I went to British Summertime in London and saw Blur. 12 year old me is only a couple of years away from falling in love with their music and realizing Gorillaz is more than just cartoon music videos. Never been to Coachella, but girl there are better ones.
12 year old me never envisioned what would happen after graduation. It was a good surprise thou.